Remember the ’snap-in-the-crotch’ body suits of the 70’s?
Let me digress here a bit and tell you that I was raised by my grandparents from the time I was five months old. My Mamaw raised me just as she raised her three daughters in the 1930’s and 40’s……complete with long curls and calf length skirts and dresses. I was not aware that I was totally unstylish until junior high at which point I wanted so badly to dress like the other girls. This didn’t even begin to happen until I entered high school and starting sneaking clothes under my coat or in my school bag. I’d change on the way to school in the back seat of my cousin Ronnie’s 57′ (or may 56′) turquoise Chevy.
I had an aunt and uncle who took pity on me when I went to college. They put money in my bank account to buy clothes so I’d fit in with the other kids; hence my discovery of “body suits”.
In the summer of 1971, I’d never seen nor heard of a body suit; but with the money from my good fairies, I bought my first…. a black jersey, long-sleeved, Nehru style collar, zip front. Now, no one told me exactly HOW to wear these articles of clothing. So, I made-up my own rules.
Around this time, I became acquainted, and hung out with two good-looking guys who just happened to be brothers. Rick, the youngest had a humongous hog of a motorcyle and we’d go riding for hours……I loved it? (and girls, you KNOW the reason why!) He’d let me drive as long as he was riding with me. You see, I weighed 90 lbs. soaking wet then and the hog was a monster and really too big for me to handle alone. However, I managed (somehow) to talk Rick into letting me take it out by myself for a 30 minute ride one Saturday afternoon.
Knowing that I’d be handling the hog by myself, I really wanted to look good. I rummaged through my wardrobe and chose the black body suit described above along with white tennies (no socks). What you also need to know is that I wore nothing else except a bra. No one told me I shouldn’t wear a body suit alone and it was cut so high on the hips, I certainly couldn’t wear panties!
So I took off on the hog on a cloudy Saturday afternoon. I’d been warned by Rick to make sure that if I had to stop, I was near a curb so I could reach to balance (I was short too!). What a feeling to be in control of such a mammoth bike. I zoomed around town for 10 or 15 minutes….then it started to rain. Deciding I needed to return, I pulled to a middle lane to pass a car and got stuck at a red light. Well, there was no curb (obviously) but I had to stop……as my foot reached for the pavement the bike leaned and down we both went. I was more embarrassed than hurt; but was able to upright the bike and walk it to a curb where I jumped back on and took off.
Something wasn’t right…….as I was speeding down the road I started feeling really chilled. I looked down and much to my chagrin, the snaps in the crotch of my body suit had come undone and the flaps were whipping in the wind and rain. This must have happened when I fell with the bike! And being so embarrassed, I didn’t even notice. I had walked the bike across traffic, bare from the waist down!
I rode on to Rick’s but stopped (by a curb) about a block early to re-dress!
Besides my best friend, you (and the world) are the only ones I’ve ever told this story. You now know my most embarrassing moment…..and no, I never drove a hog by myself again.
