Okay, it’s time for a rant. Now this may offend some of you but it’s my blog and I can write whatever I want so get over it, report me to the blog police or whatever.
I am so friggin’ sick and tired of calling technical support and having the phone answered by some third-world country, non-english speaking fuckwad……particularly those from India. I can honestly say that I’ve never met an Indian (from India, not America) that I liked. In fact, every Indian that I’ve had to interact with I wound up hating.
The first encounter I recall that really rankled me was when the day care hired an Indian woman for the toddler’s room where my son spent his days. First of all she dressed in full Indian garb which frightened the children. Secondly, she STUNK with a full-blown I’ve-been-workin’-on-the-railroad-all-the-live-long-day kind of B.O. You could smell her when you walked into the room. I finally told the director that she needed to say something to the woman about the odor. However, the very next day when I took my son to school, not only did the bitch still stink but my baby clung to me and cried for the very first time. This Indian pond scum walked over and grabbed MY BABY by the arm and jerked him away saying “Stop it right now” (sounds like sahp eet rah naw). Man, I was livid and got right in her face. Luckily another mother saw the entire episode and we both marched to the director’s office (with our kids safely in our arms) and told her if that raunchy piece of shit wasn’t fired immediately, we were filing a report with the state and taking our kids out of the center. Sue, the director, was appalled and took instant action. The stinky hag was out the door, another teacher called in, my baby happily in place and I was still on time to work that morning.
I’m really not a person who judges an entire nation by one bad apple; so, I truly tried not to let this situation affect my perception of other Indians.
UNTIL.
If you’ve read my Shoulda Got a Dell entry, you’ll remember that I’ve had a Dell computer for several years. In fact, I’m on my third Dell and I bought my youngest son a Dell laptop for school this year. However, my choice of manufacturers will definitely change next time I decide to upgrade because every fucking time I’ve called support in the last two years the phone has been answered (when it’s finally answered) with “Ah-lo, thees eez ZZZshorj. Ow meh ah hop u?”. Of course it’s not always ZZZshorj (George. Yea right, your name is George or Jim or Nancy or whatever, my ass!)
Obviously, these people are skilled or they wouldn’t be working for Dell as technical support *rolling eyes*. What I always try to do is make them aware that I’m also somewhat computer savvy and have already gone through the first five or six steps that they’ll want me to do. No go………you gotta go through the same fucking thing that you’ve been doing all fucking day just to prove to them that you’ve done it. (little aside here……last time, I wrote down all the steps I’d already taken and the error messages I received at each step and when the bastard would tell me to do something, I’d take a drink of tea and/or have a smoke and then read him my notes) When all else fails, ZZZshorj tells me to remove the cover of the computer (sounds more like re-moo ze coe-vair uv ze comb-poo-tair). This is where shit hits the fan. There is no fucking reason for me to open the cover of a brand new computer when the problem is obviously either an operating system or software issue. The damn computer turns on and boots up, the RAM is fine, the fan is running, so why the fuck do I need to re-moo ze coe-vair uv ze comb-poo-tair? (and I’m also thinking here, what if I were 87 years old and had arthritis so badly that I couldn’t even begin to LIFT the gd harddrive much less re-moo ze coe-vair uv ze comb-poo-tair?)
Of course, during the conversation I’ve had to ask no less than 5,743 times for ZZZshorj to repeat himself. During one session with a femail ZZZshorj, I finally got so frustrated that I demanded to talk with an “English speaking” representive. “Zees ees EEEngleesh zat ah’, speekeeeng”. “Then put someone one whose FIRST language is English”…………and she hung up on me. That’s right, Dell. Your cheap technical support person hung up on a customer who has spent no less than $10,000 on Dell computers and accessories in the last eight years.
At this point, I’m usually so mad I can’t think straight so I BEG…….I mean literally BEG and PLEAD with the Prof to take over. I just have to make sure that his nitro is handy in the event he works himself into a stroke!
So Dell, I will never buy another computer from you and I’d rather chew off my arm than have to call your technical support department again. Clear enough for you? No? How about this?
Dell, re-moo ze coe-vair uv ze comb-poo-tair an shuv eet ap u ahz.
