What She Said

Day before yesterday I had minor nasal surgery. I say “minor” because the surgery was at 12:30 p.m. and I was home by 4:00 p.m. However, this has got to be the most “miserable-after-the-fact” surgery I’ve ever had (and I’ve had more than a few).

First, I was sent home with tampons in my nostrils! I swear…TAMPONS. And the strings were taped to each cheek. Not only did I look like Miss Piggy, I looked like Miss Piggy with tampons in her nose. I was so glad when I could remove them that night.

Now I look like I’ve had my nose broken on The Contender. Plus there’s no AIR getting into my nose what with all the swelling etc. So I’m looking pretty “DUH-ISH” with my mouth hanging open to breathe.

Miserable is the word for how I feel! It’s like having the worse sinus infection in the world. Thank God for painkillers *grin*.

The Prof snapped this pic last week…..the epitome of springtime.

I had the strangest, most erotic dream last night. I was in a crowded elevator and my brother (which I don’t have) was copping a feel.

Funny thing is, I woke up wishing I DID have a raunchy brother to call and either chew out or thank for the dream.

I’m a sick, sick old lady.

I’m a baaaaad, baaaaad mother! Today is my son and daughter-in-love’s second anniversary and I completely forgot about it until about 10:30 p.m. So, I picked up the phone and wished them a Happy Anniversary.

It’s so unlike me to completely forget a special day like this; and, the truth is, I really DIDN’T forget it. You see, I already had a card for them. Since I was negligent in sending the card in a timely fashion, I decided to post it here for the entire world to see.

This is the front of the card:

And here is the inside:

And even the back:

You see, I recently re-formatted my computer and have yet to reinstall and update the little reminder program that has been so helpful in the past.

J and M, I’m really sorry I missed your anniversary. I hope you know how much you’re loved and I hope you enjoy your card *grin*.

Last night, the Professor was on the phone with JD (his college kiddo) trying to help him set up a report in “APA Formatting Standards”. When he hung up, I asked “What the hell is APA Formatting Standard?”. Prof explained that it’s a type of style used in setting up papers as defined by the American Psychological Association.

Well, my question then became “Why does a college in Ohio that’s clearly not associated with the APA adhere to their formatting standards?” “They just do; it’s a common standard”, replied the ever-profound Professor.

“So, who then decided that the APA had a good ‘formatting standard’ to follow?” I inquired. At this point, I could tell that Prof was getting more than a little perturbed with my incessant inquisition and I could see the “wheels” turning.

“You see, a representative from every college or university in the world is selected to sit on ‘The Board of Formatting Standards’ and THEY are the ones who decide the standards of formatting”, he pompously replied.

Of course, I knew this was BS and stated “Now really, who sets these kind of standards? If we don’t know who makes the rules, we shouldn’t have to follow them!”. Prof immediately recanted his BS story and the matter was dropped.

But REALLY! Who the heck decides these kind of things? I can understand a company wanting all of their outgoing correspondence to look uniform and providing templates/formatting standards for the employees; but Joe Schmoe’s Plumbing Company certainly is not dictating formatting standards for the entire world!

I googled “formatting standards” and “document formatting standards” and really found nothing regarding the existence of the powers that determine and declare that a certain type of justification, spacing, indentation etc. should hereinafter be the recognized, acceptable median for documents.

So, I’ve decided it’s a bunch of poppycock and should be totally disregarded. Now, if you’re a college student reading this, don’t blame me if you flunk a report because you failed to format it according to APA Formatting Standards!

JMHO

We’ve had a few blooms already this spring. Gawd, I hope the 300+ bulbs we planted last fall come up!

Playing in PSP (Paint Shop Pro) has long been one of my favorite computer pasttimes. I’ve used PSP since version 5 and we’re up to version 9 now.

There are so many things about this wonderful program that I don’t know (and probably never will); but I love to use it to enhance photos.

Here’s a picture I snapped in the Shenandoah National Forest last summer and then played with it in PSP.

We take tons of pictures; guess I ought to start sharing them, eh?

Later…

Today was clean out the closets day. It’s a little known annual celebration (?), you know. On April 6, 1863, President Lincoln (with the urging of Mary Todd) proclaimed that this day should be observed “with malice towards none; with charity towards all” and soon after it became known as Good Will Day. Obviously, Mary had the right idea; I mean, how many times can a person pass over the red plaid blouse before they realize it’s time to get rid of it. My word, there are children starving in China! The least we can do is clean out our closets.

I wonder though what the Good Will store was like back in Mary’s day? Did they have attended donation stations? And how in the world did Mary manage to tote all the huge, plastic lawn and leaf bags without a pickup? I’ll bet she had to walk five miles, uphill, both ways…in the snow, with no shoes. And what did she donate? Did she put her old corsets in the bag? What about Abe’s worn out stovepipe hats (I’ll bet she hated those things and even tried to sneak the new ones in the sacks)?

Times sure have changed since the proclamation of this special day. I go through my closet every year; and, if I didn’t wear it during the prior year, out it goes. Now the Professor (hubby) is a different story. Today is the only second time in seven years that he’s joined in the festivities of the day; and, he STILL didn’t get rid of that damned sweat shirt!

So join in the celebration of Good Will Day and get busy cleaning out those closets! The Professor just got back and we now have a receipt that shows we donated ten bags full (yes sir, yes sir).

Hmmmm, I just noticed that the Good Will store spells the name as one word, i.e. Goodwill. You don’t suppose……….naaaaaa!

If your house is like ours, the bathroom is also a library. In each of our bathrooms, directly across from the toilet is a wall-mounted magazine rack packed full of the latest editions of Reader’s Digest, Saturday Evening Post, Ladies Home Journal, Ohio Magazine, AARP Newsletter, etc.

In the bathroom downstairs (the most used) there’s also the most recent copy of Guidepost which has been a gift from the in-laws for many years. Although I’ve yet to pick it up (but I intend to), this month’s Guidepost has an article regarding procrastination called “You Can Beat Procrastination – Don’t Put it Off!”.

Now I’m wondering, who will read that article? A procrastinator like me will certainly notice that the article is there and will have the best of intentions to get it read; but the truth is I’m a procrastinator; and the likelihood of me ever getting around to reading that piece is slimta!

So I’m thinking, why write a self-help article for procrastinators? Isn’t that kind of like writing an article about avoiding getting pregnant and making it available at a nursing home? I just wondered…..