What She Said

As the mother of a new Airman, Memorial Day has an even more special meaning than in years past.

It means I have come to appreciate what my father, uncle and grandfather did to secure our freedom.

It means I understand now what the mothers of our troops have gone and are going through.

It means that I will have a lump in my throat…..more so than normal…..when the National Anthem is played, when a flag is raised, or when I say the Pledge of Allegiance.

It means my son has willingly marched into the unknown with my full support.

It means I’m more aware than ever that our freedom comes at a price.

And it means that I am the proud mother of Airman John H. Swinney who has my heart, my love and my complete support. God Bless You, Son.

To the zero people who check this blog, please take time to remember the fallen soldiers this Memorial Day. And then, please think about and find a way to thank the young men who willingly protect our country now.

Memories of BMT Graduation Trip – May 5, 2010 – May 9, 2010

1. John and Rikki in the backseat of the rental car. John says “I’m getting paid for this”. He’s never had a salaried job.
2. Being so close to John at the Coin Ceremony as he assisted his TI with handing out the coins.
3. That first hug after 8 ½ weeks; and knowing John felt the same emotions.
4. Of the thousands of people there, the first person I really “saw” at the Airmen’s Run was John’s father across the street. (I didn’t say they would all be GOOD memories).
5. The Riverwalk and John going into the “Life is Good” store and buying me a zip-up hoodie and a little necklace with a heart on it for Mother’s Day.
6. Calling John to come to our hotel room on Saturday evening for a really long hug. Lots of tears for me.
7. Meeting Rikki and her mom, Ronda, at the San Antonio Airport.
8. Laughing with John about the “gay” TI and listening to his impression of the guy.
9. Hearing over 700 young Airmen sing The Air Force Anthem……Off we go into the wild blue yonder…..
10. Sgt. Clevenger, John’s TI, and John getting pissed because John’s dad showed up at his dorm before us and presented himself and his wife as “John’s parents”.
11. Giving John and Rikki St. Michael’s necklaces and knowing that John wore his.
12. John giving Warren a “dog tag” that says “To a loving Stepfather. Thank you for your support and for being the proud parent of an Airman.”
13. John handing me a bumper sticker in the BX that says “My Son is in the Air Force” and saying “Hey Mom, I bought this for you”.
14. Sitting for three hours in the bleachers, facing the sun and waiting for the Coin Ceremony to start.
15. We all got sunburned. John had a “V” on his face where his AF hat covered part of his head. Rikki was so burned, she slathered her arms, chest, and neck with aloe.
16. John introducing Rikki to his TI as “my fiancé”; it was news to all of us, including Rikki.
17. Seeing John run by twice in the Airmen’s Run and Warren being able to get a couple of pictures both times.
18. Hugging John after graduation.
19. Seeing John’s dad and his wife searching for John after graduation and steering them to him; and knowing they would not have done the same.
20. Watching John try on watches and sunglasses again and again and again…..his graduation and birthday gifts. I finally said “Pick one!” I was getting exhausted by the heat.
21. Dropping John off after town pass on Friday and watching him make a “military turn” and start marching, by himself, to the dorm.
22. Eating not-so-great Mexican food at Acentar on the Riverwalk…..and I even researched it!
23. In the car, and being able to reach back and feel John take my hand.
24. Being amazed at how straight and tall John sat and walked. He had so much pride in his accomplishments, and it was obvious.
25. Leaving John………..

John graduated from BMT (Basic Military Training) Friday, May 7, 2010 in San Antonio. We attended all the ceremonies/meetings which began on Thursday morning at 7:00 a.m.

I’m so proud of John for accomplishing this goal in his life. He’s headed now, even as I type this, to Sheppard AFB in Wichita Falls, TX where he will attend Tech School to become a Munitions Expert (inspect, move, deliver and, in some cases, assemble guns, artillery and bombs).

I’ve learned that, at some point, it is highly likely he will be deployed to the Middle East for 4-6 months. Please keep John in your prayers as he embarks on this journey.

Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. When you were born, I saw your face and knew I was in love. Before you were an hour old, I knew I would die for you. To this day, I will.
Joey and John…..I love you more than you will ever know. It has been a privilege to be your Mom.

To John

I can’t sit still, my feet are pacing.
It’s hard to breathe, my heart is racing.
The cause I know is not nearby;
But to his side I soon will fly.

The subject of this poem, you see
Is the child who is the best of me.
Upon his heart, his soul, his mind
Are imprints that I’ve left behind.

This son of mine has earned the right
To become a star, twinkling bright.
I look up in the sky and see
My son is smiling back at me.

The Air Force is his home for now
And I will understand some how;
That he belongs to something new
Where he can see his dreams come true.

So, Air Force, send him home to me
A stronger man for all to see.
And let him know that we believe
That he became what he perceived…

A man who has a heart of grace
To make the world a better place.
A place of love and peace and joy
A world that no one can destroy.

Thank you, John.

By Kit White 4/29/10

Sometimes life throws you a curve ball that you couldn’t in your wildest dreams have imagined. I was thrown one of those bitches this week. I willingly involved myself in and contributed to vicious gossip that hurt the most precious people in my life.

Why did I do this? Beats the fuck out of me. And, believe it or not, in the midst of stirring the pot, I honestly believed I was watching out for my loved ones.

WRONG!

There is a line….a line so thin….so innocent looking…that can be crossed without even lifting a foot. A line so quiet in its maliciousness whose whisper is almost silent…….almost silent…..almost.

Almost…there it is…that almost silent whisper telling me the difference between caring and gossiping…between right and wrong. Yes, I heard it and I ignored it. Why? Who the hell knows. But trust me when I tell you, I will know that nasty whisper from this point forward. It will never again cause pain like it has this week.

God will help us repair the broken bridges; but it’s important that we take responbility for our actions.

I do….and I’m sorry….and if you’re reading this….know that I love you…beyond the beyond the beyond and the beyond….

And if you’re reading this for no other reason than to be reading it, thank you. But more important, hold those you love close and never, ever let your words become bullets.

This has to be the funniest title for a news article that I’ve ever seen:

“Woman Sits On Boyfriend’s Face To Stop Ex-Wife Call“

I’ve been a Twitter subscriber for two years, but never realized the addictive fun of “tweeting” until a few months ago. During my early days of trying to understand the logistics, I ran across the Twitter account of Drew Olanoff, a young man with cancer.

I followed and watched as Drew expressed his pain and anger at this impartial disease. And I watched as he fought back…as he made it clear, he was not giving up or giving in…as he used his Twitter name (@drew) to draw attention and money to his fight…as he became stronger and stronger and won. Yes….he won…and only he can tell us the depths of hell he went through to defeat this nasty, ghastly disease.

And today is his 30th birthday. He could have given in….he could have slipped away….we could have never known the courage he has….and we would have never been able to say “Thank You”.

Dearest Drew,

Thank you….from the bottom of our hearts….for helping all of us understand that a cancer diagnosis should not be a death sentence or something we’re ashamed of, but should be met head on with the determination that it will not control nor take one minute away from our lives.

Thank you for being brave enough to publicly discuss your cancer. More people than you can imagine have benefitted from your willingness to share your dark secrets.

Happy Birthday, Drew. No person in the world deserves this birthday more than you.

Blessing and love,

Kit White

An amazing little girl…